Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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