Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
