i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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