Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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