I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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