i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize