Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
