Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
