i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
