I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
