now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
