Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You left your underwear on the fireplace
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Randomize