If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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