you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
