is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
