I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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