Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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