we made out on top of his cat.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize