Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
