Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
