Where is the hickey?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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