I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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