trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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