we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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