I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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