I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
