Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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