I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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