She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
