I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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