yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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