he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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