yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
