David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
