If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
