I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
