I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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