no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
