They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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