shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
