So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize