you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
