girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
