Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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