Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
