I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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