exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
