my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We need to get me chipped asap
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
