I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
