I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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