Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
