She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
the day after is always just damage control
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize