The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
