doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
