then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
