your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
