Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You made out with two different species that night
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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