A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You are the jesus of drinking
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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