She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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