You just made me feel so damn special
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
