Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
