But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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