so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize