I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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