he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
