Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
