remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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