You're completely useless in the revolution.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
