actually, I'm a sock model
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
