the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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