Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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