My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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