I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
